There is a growing trend across education blogs and social media that deserves some attention: educators publicly writing about how difficult, disengaged, unreasonable, or frustrating parents can be.
Scroll through education-related posts, particularly in educator-only Facebook groups, and you’ll find plenty of examples. There are stories about parents who don’t respond to emails, challenge grades, don’t show up for conferences, blame teachers, or expect schools to do everything.
Notice that these posts are not in any parenting groups.
Many of these posts even start with the familiar phrase, “Unpopular opinion…” That’s the same as shouting that the Yankees are the best baseball team at a Yankees Fan Club night. Calling it unpopular might raise some eyebrows, but it doesn’t necessarily make the conversation meaningful or courageous, especially when it is posted in a “safe” space. Try being a Mets fan at the Yankees Fan Club Night.
But it does generate clicks.
And comments emphatically agreeing with the poster.
Is that all that matters?
I’ve spent plenty of time on the other side of these conversations. When I was a principal, I dealt with some incredibly difficult and combative parents. They called the district on me and posted about me on social media. I even had the police called on me. I know firsthand how exhausting those interactions can be, how much time they consume, and how challenging they can make an already demanding job. I’m not suggesting that every parent is reasonable or that educators should tolerate disrespect.
But I wonder how much of this trend is really about starting a meaningful conversation and how much is about generating clicks, likes, comments, and social media engagement.
Let’s be honest. Nothing gets educators talking quite like a post criticizing difficult parents or students. It creates an audience, invites people to share their own horror stories, and often turns the comment section into a competition over who has the most difficult parent experience.
So what’s the problem with that? The problem is that we’re making the very people we are supposed to partner with the punchline of a joke in order to get more “likes”.
Imagine being a parent who comes across one of these posts. What does it say about the school community? How does it impact trust? And what happens when that parent has a child attending the school of the educator writing the post?
We can all acknowledge that some parents are difficult. Others are downright nasty. We can defend teachers, establish boundaries, and have honest conversations about the challenges of family engagement. However, we don’t need to publicly bash parents to do any of those things.
We constantly remind educators at all levels that relationships matter. Perhaps it’s time we applied that same expectation to our online behavior.
We have enough division in education already. We don’t need to manufacture more of it for clicks.
The Principal’s Desk, Assistant Principal’s Desk, and The School Counselor’s Desk was founded by Dr. David Franklin. Dr. Franklin is an award winning school administrator, education professor, curriculum designer, published author and presenter at national and international education conferences. He is also the co-author of “Can Every School Succeed” and the #1 Amazon Best Seller in Education Administration: “Advice From The Principal’s Desk”.
